5 Programming Jokes and my Real-Life Comments
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
My comments:
Do not underestimate support. I have worked in company where a TEAM was doing support, for an old solution.
I could have re-developed that software anew, with hardly any support needed. But, it was not my scope, and I was just an employee, you know.
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Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
My comments:
Such things are happening when you see something loading and loading and nothing shows.
Or some weird funny error appears that was not accounted for.
Many years ago, it can be deadly and even bring the server accessibility down for other user.
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How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None — It’s a hardware problem
My comments:
Seriously, this is no joke.
I myself have used that line many a times.
If your internet is slow, I’m not the guy to fix it.
Neither for: printer not working, windows not booting up, need USB access, and such. I develop the software that you are using. That thing which you cannot physically see.
In fact, that was the definition that my lecturer used when teaching us programming. Anything that you can see is hardware. That you cannot see is software.
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
My comments:
Many might be confused rather than amused. Even some fellow programmers. So, here’s the explanation.
Decimal and octal are two number systems with different bases.
In decimal system, which has base as 10, you count from 0 to 9.
Then, you add prefix 1, then count from 0 to 9 (that is 10 to 19)
And so on.
In octal system, which has base as 8, you count from 0 to 7.
Then, you add prefix 1, then count from 0 to 7 (so, it goes like this: 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,10,11,12,13 and so on)
And so on.
So, Octal 31 converts to Decimal 25. Oct 31 is Halloween. Dec 25 is Christmas.
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A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
My comments:
For the layman, this is something like the wife nagging us about taking out the rubbish or such chores.
Typically, we will let it in one ear and out the other, and take no actions.
Until the day when a pot comes flying in ourdirection, then we decide, yes, we will throw the rubbish now.
Likewise, when the compiler gives us a Warning, it’s a way of it saying, “won’t you be a nice lad and fix this?”.
You CAN be a nice lad and fix it, or go smoke a cigar or whatever else you like to do.
But, when it gives an Error, that’s when s*it has hit the ceiling. You better cancel your leave and fix it right now.
